a queef is a wish your heart makes.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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