i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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