It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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