My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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