Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
