If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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