naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize