He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
