What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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