Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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