matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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