He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
