Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Randomize
