trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
