don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
