No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
