8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
