I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize