As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Randomize
