My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
