whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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