Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
why do cheetos always look like penises
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
This baby is an asshole
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
