So drunk, too bad you don't want this
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
We are two peas in an std pod
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
