i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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