My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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