I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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