We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
