I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
