Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize
