when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
