I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Ladies don't puke and tell
Randomize
