we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
