I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
