By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
sex in a hospital.. check
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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