With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
