2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
So much Jack, so little girl.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
