Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
