Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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