Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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