you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
