that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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