I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize
