Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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