I only kidnapped one of them. chill
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
