just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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