He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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