She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
