Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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