Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
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