shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
