so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
