I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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