i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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