No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
He has the fingertips of a God
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
