I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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