hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
