No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
