After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
