One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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