Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Randomize
