PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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