Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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