ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
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