whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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