just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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