her vagine was all disorganized.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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