She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
