When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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